mine cold. Make it with Ketel One vodka. Make it with at least two
olives. And make it dirty. The dirtier the better. Update:
These days, I drink nearly nothing but Ketel One sodas. I realize
there are fancier vodkas, and some of them taste all right, but Ketel
One can be purchased in giant bottles, and that's more important than
you are the family that lives downstairs from me, please know that
I can hear everything your very expressive children say when throwing
tantrums in the bath or refusing to eat their breakfasts or fussing
as you shuttle them off to church on Sunday morning. And because you
leave all those little eyesore-ish pairs of shoes outside your front
door, I'm often tempted to fill them with bacon grease just to let
you know I care. Update: I no longer live above that welfare
parade. I now live BELOW one. Although there are no children. Just
one really abominably loud and inconsiderate dude and his unfriendly,
Internet is our friend. And no friend of mine is going to be denied
his or her first amendment rights while I stand idly by.
- I play
it, listen to it, buy it, live it, love it. And you should, too. I'll
allow you to view my CD
List if you promise not to pass judgment on me. Many an ill-advised
purchase decision was made while under the influence of such forces
as Columbia House and BMG Music.
I write it. You wanna make something of it? Then visit the Mary
Forrest Poetry Archive.
- No one will argue when I assert that I usually have a lot to say. But you may be surprised to learn that I am interested in what others have to say, too. As long as they're not saying something stupid. Or in a language I can't understand.
I would love for folks to go around believing that I received the
gift of the gourmet from god, in truth (a) I don't believe in god,
and (b) I owe much of my success to Epicurious,
Gourmet Guide, my mother (no link available), and other terrific
resources for those who practice the culinary arts. The unfortunate
flip side is that I have a really fucked up relationship with food,
and I'm always much happier starving myself.
I'm really holding out for is teleportation technology, but going
faster than nearly anyone else is good enough for now. I never got
to fly on the Concorde (too poor), but I appreciated its intentions.
It's too bad all those people had to drive the company's profits down
with their untimely deaths. I will always feel like I got cheated.
- I hereby
make my lecture
notes from two semesters of Richard McLaughlin's mythology courses
at San Diego Mesa College (some time back in the earlier part of this
decade) available for the first time ever (to my knowledge). I have
tried to keep the narrative as close to Mr. McLaughlin's wonderful
lecturing style as possible. Have at. (Warning:
This is a big ass file. The staff here at maryforrest.com are working
round the clock to break up this data clot for your convenience and
browsing pleasure. Please bear with us. And by "us," I mean
iffy going on here, not that I mind anyone thinking I would have wanted
to bone her. I just think she was a very pretty lady who got a bad
rap. And my memory of reading a book about her out on my porch in
the sun when I lived in this very nice condominium in Hillcrest is
one of the fondest sensations my recollection can conjure.
surprise here, eh? I'm one of those courageous few who is willing
to admit I like the cinema. Admire me now while you can.
- I have
had a crush on Danny Kaye since I was a little girl with nearly none
of her permanent teeth. And not only because of the striking resemblance
he bears to my father -- although that helps. I just love watching
his movies and wish he had made more of them. He's one of those rarities.
The really talented guy who didn't get quite as huge or mainstream
as he could have. Consequently, there's more of a premium on things
by and about him. You can get all the video you want of Bob Hope.
But I've really had to scrounge and bid and finnagle to get my hands
on the many bits of his greatness that I own. I have even videotaped
his appearances on programs such as The Cosby Show and the
new Twilight Zone. I don't mess around.
- Star Trek
- I would
watch Star Trek twenty-four hours a day. If there was a round-the-clock
Star Trek channel, I would watch it. Even after I'd seen every
episode a thousand times. Deep Space Nine is my favorite of
the spin-offs, and I actually don't like Enterprise or Voyager,
but -- even if it's one of the shows I don't like so much -- show
me that Federation insignia, and I'll stop and watch. I just want
to live in outer space so badly. Don't you see that?
ma! I've got my very own favorite comic book! Oddjob, by the genius
twins* Ian and Tyson Smith, is one of my favorite things. And lord
knows, I need something else to collect. Although, I'm sad to report
the last issue has already been printed, you can buy Oddjob and other
stuff from the good folks at Slave
Labor Graphics. You can actually buy the omnibus now, too. You should. It's cool.
*I have no actual reason to believe Ian and Tyson Smith are twins.
And I have met them. And they have emailed me.
we're on the topic of comic books, I think Jordan
Crane is just the ginchiest. I have an embarrassing crush on him.
Every time I see him at Comic-Con, I blush and run away. That being
said, you should buy and read his comics, and you should buy his art
and give it to me as extravagant gifts. Then everyone wins.
Show is (was) mister freakin' awesome!
I used to watch the show when it was originally airing on HBO, and
I would tell people about it, and so few of them knew what I was talking
about. So I would tape the show and make people watch it when they
came to my house. And then I bought a TiVo and subscribed to digital
cable for the specific purpose of recording the episodes as they were
to be aired on what was then the new HBO Comedy. Wow. I latch onto
something, and I really don't let up, do I? Anyway, it was a jim dandy
show. And it's a testament to the suckness of television that it didn't
last longer than it did.
can't very well go on and on about Mr. Show without also
mentioning the awesomeness that is Paul
F. Tompkins. If you haven't already heard me gushing about him
in my blog, let me just clue you in: he is the funniest, smartest,
charmingest, best dressed man in the world. And he is not nearly famous
enough for these things. I'm just doing my part as an evangelist in
spreading the good word. Mainly because I don't like talking about
- I know
this page is just becoming a sort of "Hall of Men I Wish I Could Marry,"
and I apologize for that. But if such a list is indeed being generated,
then Harry Shearer's name must be on it. Harry's even got a home
page, bless his heart. Visit it and pay homage to one of the brilliantest
minds on the comedy frontier.
do I find this man so heart-stoppingly attractive? I wish I knew.
He reminds me a lot of my Uncle Bruno, who is dashing and handsome
and always treated me like a lady, even when I was a lady of only
five years of age. Maybe that's it. He's been in some fine films,
The Professional, yet another Luc Besson triumph, should be
mandatory viewing matter for those who consider themselves culturally
complete. It's not really cultural or anything. It's just a really
could I not love the man almost singlehandedly responsible for breaking
Jean Reno (see above) into the American film market? The
Fifth Element, although disturbingly lacking in Jean
Reno, is also a screen triumph. The fact that I could have bought
seven Whoppers (at which point, to be clever, I was going to provide
a link to the Official Burger
King Home Page, but that page is completely lacking in anything
of interest -- trust me, don't bother clicking) with the money it
costs to see a flick these days didn't even phase me...the fact that
it was bargain Tuesday at the cinema might have had something to do
- A year-round
treat. My personal shelf-life assays yield an expectancy of eternal
freshness -- even with the bag open. I hope you got yours before the
Easter bunny retired to his pagan digs for the year. I did.
violinists usually bear a common prejudice here. I am proud to report
that the more I play, the wider grows my scope of musical appreciation.
And my CD collection is evidence of my breadth. But that doesn't mean
I'll ever like the soundtrack to Transformers: The Movie.
is yummy. Mysterious, but yummy just the same. Some may prefer the
elegance of Treet. Others may opt for deviled ham in a can. But for
my money, it's Spam all the way. (It's especially good with rice.)
a dyed-in-the-wool consumer, and I'm proud of it. I recently learned
to steel myself against the considerable allure of late night infomercials,
and this has been a good thing. But the malls just keep cropping up
and making themselves more and more convenient and accessible. What's
a girl to do?
references to a fashion half-life are entirely unwelcome. Sooner or
later, a gal's gotta shimmy. Might as well be properly attired.
- I don't
know that a link is a necessary testament to my affection, but if
you must have one: here
it is. I think he's super awesome. I used to want to marry him.
Then I grew up emotionally and professionally and wanted to be hired
to write for his show. And then I returned to reality and settled
for watching him with some amount of frequency. What a relationship
we've had over the years.
Symbols of Americana
ice cream social with square dancing and twilight hayrides...patchwork
quilts...shaker-style decor...farm motifs...these are a few of my
"Quaint Symbols of Americana."
Chagall's Dance Marc Chagall's Red Nude
Sitting Up Marc Chagall's Music
very many other artists
give me the Rothkos and the Richters and the Klines and the Frankenthalers.
The Bacons, the Freuds, the Ruschas. The abstract expressionists.
The labelless. There is a Mark Rothko painting in the LACMA permanent
collection that I go to visit from time to time. And every time I
see it, and every time I happen to be there with someone, I always
end up telling the same story. That painting is me. It's my flesh.
My blood or something. Every time I look at it, it's like surgery
is being performed. It almost hurts. And it's one of my favorite things
in the world.
hadn't you noticed.
loves feedback. Why not indulge her? Email
signage are heartily encouraged.
1997-2005 Mary Forrest.
Don't even think about passing this off as your own handiwork!
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